I’m twenty months into my twenties and life’s finally starting to look like a nineties sitcom.
When I was six all I wanted to be was not six. I wanted to use FAX machines, send very important emails, go on bad dates with successful men, tell my friends about said dates over champagne breakfasts, throw dinner parties, go hunting for antique homewares, eat blue cheese and oysters and brussel sprouts without gagging. I wanted to be thirty, flirty, and thriving.
A decade and a half later, I’m haphazardly penetrating my early twenties with the dexterity of a whiskey-dicked fuckboy on a cocktail of prescription meds. Less Sex and the City, more Sex and the Shitty. My foray into adulting thus far is like The One Where Phoebe Runs; I’m probably doing it totally wrong, but I’m having far too much fun becoming the person I’m meant to be to give a damn.
Here’s what (I think) I’ve learnt along the way…
- You’ll realise you’re not the person you wanted to be when you were younger, but you’ll like this version of yourself better anyway.
- Nobody owes you anything.
- Sometimes friendship is hard.
- Shut up and do it.
- The earlier seasons of Sex and the City were better. Carrie Bradshaw breaking the fourth-wall to talk over men was revolutionary. So was Miranda’s shower-slick ‘do and corporate power getup.
- The planet is dying. Enjoy every day.
- Boys come and go, but best friends will always be there to squeeze the pimples you can’t reach and hold you back from over editing Insta posts.
- Jealousy is a weekly mood–it’s not cute. Try to be happy for the success of others, your own will come soon enough.
- Be as queer as you wanna be, and fuck everyone else.
- Fuck everyone else period.
- It’s better to stand out than to blend in.
- Failure and rejection aren’t the end of the world.
- Your education is your greatest tool. Use it.
- Violating your values will make you feel like garbage fire.
- If it makes you uncomfortable, it’s not for you.
- We accept the head we think we deserve. Despite what you think; you deserve better.
- Tracee Ellis Ross is the woman you want to be when you grow up.
- Take as much time as you need.
- The greatest gift you can give the world is yourself.
- Everything you think you know is probably wrong.